Esther Perel & Terry Real present:

A 5-Month Online Training for Mastering

LOVE, SEX & POWER in Relationship Therapy


A Special LIVE 2-Day Training Event

“Relationships are undergoing a radical transformation and as therapists our world is becoming increasingly complex because couples come to us to solve difficult problems and look to us for ways they can deepen intimacy.”

Esther Perel


We are excited to let you know about our NEW Professional Training - RELATE!

You might ask, “Why did we create the training and why another relationship program?"

Both of us  are known for different specialties: Esther for her work with intimacy and sex and Terry for his work with challenging couples.

Both of us have developed unique approaches that work for even the messiest, most difficult, and seemingly unrepairable situations. By coming together, you get not one but TWO ways to look at a situation.

Unique and practical clinical approaches emerge, many of which go against traditional therapy training. We want YOU to look over our shoulders as we discuss case after case.

The TRUTH is that many of our clients have never been taught HOW to relate to each other!

We have to teach them HOW to relate. We have to model telling the truth in sessions so they can bring that into their relationships.

We created RELATE for therapists to:

  1. Navigate the increasing complexity of relationship therapy including multi-generational perspectives and different relationship configurations
  2. Give you tools, techniques, and methods that we use to get faster and better outcomes, and
  3. To put forth new ideas that can serve you and your clients.

When you join us over the next five months you’ll get 5 hours of training per month plus a LIVE call with the two of us. We’ll also come together to meet and learn from each other at the end of the training for a 2-day event.

Check out all the details on this page and we invite you to this special training.

Esther Perel & Terry Real

p.s. This is the first time we have worked together in this way and can't wait to be with you on this course. A special focus of this training is to look at the DIFFICULT topics that often are left out of the therapy room.

“We have to help out clients not only uncover and heal the problem they have come to therapy for, but also teach them new ways of relating and being with each other so they have a chance to make the relationship last and flourish.”

- Terry Real

Working with LOVE, SEX and POWER
with Your Clients in Therapy Sessions

We will be looking at the most challenging issues you face in your sessions as a therapist and see how each sensitive area can be used to create breakthrough results for transforming your clients and their relationships.

Going Beyond Traditional Therapy -
How to Navigate the NEW Territory

1. Broadening our Understanding of Intimacy & Relationships

We will be working both on our understanding and our interventions bringing in the context to our therapy work:

  • How to work with gender, culture, sexual orientation and family of origin
  • Determining all of the forces that shape our clients' unions
  • Understanding our own ideas about relationships and how they enter sessions

2. Talking About Sex in Relationship Therapy

Even when we repair a relationships, healthy sex doesn't always follow. We will be exploring:

  • Dare we bring up the issue and how do we do so?
  • Can we use erotic energy to transform the relationship?
  • How do we talk to our clients in ways that awaken their passion and pleasure?

3. New Relationship Configurations

Open marriage, polyamory, friends with benefits, serial monogamy- the shape of long term relationships is transforming. And our assumptions need to change with them.

  • How do you truly feel about divorce when there are children, single mothers raising boys, polyamory, gender fluidity?
  • What are our expectations of men and women? Have they changed?
  • How do we talk to our clients in ways that awaken their passion and pleasure?
  • What is the nature of commitment in this changing climate?
  • What is our role as relationship therapists?

4. How Technology is Affecting Modern Relationships

The modern reality: Sexting, ghosting, hookups, facebook and your old flame, Internet dating, the porn explosion.

  • How is technology impacting couples - from EHarmony to Ashley Madison?
  • What is cheating anymore?
  • Why is porn use and ED rampant in young men?
  • What do we need to know to face new cultural challenges as romance goes virtual?

The 5 Myths of Relationship Therapy

We will be deconstructing some of the long-held myths of relationship
therapy and be looking at how to create a
NEW paradigm for your practice
that helps your clients create deeper, more meaningful connection.

Myth #1

Sexual Problems are a Consequence of Relationship Problems

ALT: Even when you "repair" or "fix" a relationship often the sex does NOT follow, but the reverse is often the case.

Myth #2

Passion Inevitably Fades in Relationships

ALT: Passion does not have to fade…in fact it can get stronger as the relationship grows over time.

Myth #3

Fantasy is the Bread of the Impoverished Mind

ALT: Imagination is our ability remain interested in ourself and using this resource you can sustain desire and identify the deepest emotional wishes.

Myth #4

Babies Dispel Eroticism and Are the Cause of Loss of Intimacy

ALT: Babies are not the cause of declining eroticism–the loss of resources is…but you can help couples reclaim erotic energy.

Myth #5

Infidelity (Real or Fantasized) is Always a Symptom of Relationship Problems

ALT: There are ways to use this sensitive issue to open the relationship to growth and bring intimacy back. The crisis can be the kernel for transformation.

Your Training Presenters

Esther Perel

Esther Perel is recognized as one of the world's most original and insightful voices on couples and sexuality across cultures. She is a celebrated speaker sought around the globe for her expertise in emotional and erotic intelligence, work-life balance, cross-cultural relations, conflict resolution and identity of modern marriage and family. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, an AASECT certified sex therapist, a member of the American Family Therapy Academy and of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research.

Terry Real

Terrence Real is the bestselling author of I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression and How Can I Get Through to You?: Reconnecting Men and Women. He has been a practicing family therapist for more than twenty years and founded the Relational Empowerment Institute. His work has been featured on NBC Nightly News, The New York Times, Psychology Today, and Oprah. He lives with his wife, family therapist Belinda Berman, and their two sons in Newton, Massachusetts.


A 5-Month Online Training for Mastering

LOVE, SEX & POWER in Relationship Therapy



Here’s what is inside the training:



The 25+ hours of instruction and content is structured into 5 modules and presented in a conversational format that is easy to listen to and absorb.

You’ll find specific interventions and exact techniques that are explained in detail and supplemented with illustrative examples or case studies. The methods presented here are unique and effective and exclusive to Terry Real and Esther Perel.

Month 1 Module:
Anatomy Of Couples Therapy

Month 2 Module:
Challenges & Choices: The Art of Direction and Perception


Month 3 Module:
Nuts & Bolts:
The ‘How To’ of Effective Couples Therapy

Month 4 Module:
Rethinking Couples Therapy:
A New Perception for a New Frontier


Month 5 Module:
Love, Sex & Power


2. Fully Downloadable Transcripts of Every Lesson in PDF Format (over 500 pages of training documents)

You’ll receive every lesson in print, which you can either print out or read on your computer, iPad, or mobile device. These PDFs are an amazing reference guide and resource. Plus, you can complete the entire program with these transcripts if you prefer to read.

4. Private Facebook Community

Enjoy interaction with other therapists, share your insights, and receive support or professional advice. The connections made in this dynamic community are often worth the price of the entire program!

3. Individual Membership Portal

Access all your course materials with ease in your very own membership site.

5. LIVE Monthly Calls
with Esther and Terry

Join us for LIVE calls w/ Esther & Terry on the following dates:

  • Call One, Tuesday, November 22nd: Anatomy of Couples Therapy
  • Call Two, Thursday, December 8th: Anatomy of Couples Therapy pt. 2
  • Call Three, Thursday, January 19th: Challenges and Choices
  • Call Four, Thursday, February 9th: Nuts & Bolts
  • Call Five, Thursday, March 9th: Rethinking Couples Therapy
  • Call Six, Thursday, April 13th: Sex and Power

NOTE: All calls will be recorded and downloadable if you can't make a time.

Plus Receive These 3 Special Bonuses:


Revisioning Relational Therapy

March 3-4, Boulder, C0 - Millennium Hotel

This two-day hands-on training workshop is specifically built for therapists working with individuals and couples. Combining lecture, clinical video vignettes and experiential exercises we will show how we work with clinical dilemmas and interventions on trauma, love, sex and power; infidelity and how to move forward; navigating transparency/privacy and secrecy in couples and individual therapy.

You will explore in depth topics like:

  • Shifting relationships from blame, rigidity and distance to closeness, spontaneity and passion
  • The therapist’s clinical choice points: How do love, sex, and power feature in our assessment and treatment of a couple?
  • Sexual regeneration as a means of transforming the relationship
  • Helping to empower the disenfranchised while melting the hearts of the grandiose
  • How to help couples unlock sexual blocks, take emotional risks, and enhance their sexual and emotional intimacy.
  • Addressing early childhood trauma issues and focusing on each individual in the presence of their partner, while also and doing couple’s work in the absence of the partner.
  • The connection between attachment styles—expectations, conflicts and disillusionment with intimate connections
  • How to demonstrate a three-stage model for working with couples in the wake of an affair

The training will focus on the therapeutic process itself. With an eye on the existential, clinical and ethical aspects, we will focus on how our assumptions, values and personal experiences influence our therapeutic work. We'll explore:

  • How do we bring our full selves into the relationship?
  • What actually heals; how does it work?
  • What most therapy could do better and the art of loving truthfulness
  • Creating new narratives through challenge and compassion, and shifting from hopelessness to hope and change

At the end of this workshop, you will leave with renewed energy, clarity, and confidence as you take part in a larger conversation on modern relationships and join an engaged  community of practitioners.

Please note there is a $127 facilities fee for the event. This includes two catered lunches, room discount at the Millennium Hotel (rooms start at $119 per night) plus free wifi.

RELATE Live Event Video

[8+ Hours of Downloadable Videos]

Just in case you cannot make the event for any reason, we will be recording the event and will upload the training directly to the membership site. This is an additional ~12+ hours of training.

30 Continuing Education Credits

Approved for 30 Continuing Education Credits co-sponsored by Commonwealth Education Seminars and R. Cassidy Seminars. Professions include: Marriage and Family Therapists, Nurses, Social Workers, Psychologists and Licensed Mental Health Counselors (Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselors, Certified Professional Counselors, Licensed Professional Counselors, Associate Professional Counselors, Licensed Professional Clinical Counselors).
More information here.

Bring a Friend to the RELATE Event

Regular Event Price $697

Bring a friend for $297 [SAVE $400]

Please note there is a $127 facilities fee for the event. This includes two catered lunches, room discount at the Millennium Hotel (rooms start at $119 per night) with free wifi.

What’s Inside Each Month of the
RELATE Therapy Training

Module 1:
Anatomy Of Couples Therapy

Part I:

Creating a Solid Foundation for Effectual Therapy with New Clients

  • Find out why the first 5 minutes are crucial for establishing structure, instilling confidence and creating a safe atmosphere for healing
  • Learn how to avoid uncertainty and hesitation from the very start using proven techniques to validate your credibility as a practitioner
  • Discover the exact questions and procedures used by Terry and Esther to build healthy relationships with their clients and treat reluctant clients

Part II:

Create Structure in Your Sessions that Promotes Deep Healing and Results

  • Discover Sacred Confidentiality and the PASS rule: The 2 most important rules for maintaining a structured environment
  • Learn how to initiate verbal contracts to avoid distressing and unnecessary tension
  • Use ‘Direct’ versus ‘Subtle’ Questions to effectively reveal vital information about your patient without inciting resistance or withdrawal

Part III:

Bold Solutions to Real Problems with the 3 Levels of Intervention

  • Learn how to reverse self-sabotage in your clients by clearly defining stances and belief systems PLUS providing solutions immediately
  • Discover exactly how to help clients differentiate between ‘subjective’ and ‘objective’ truths and how to reframe deeply entrenched stories
  • Avoid the danger of shying away from core issues and how you, the therapist, can exponentially improve your results with appropriate bold interventions

Part IV:

Deep Dive into Unhealthy Belief Systems and Family of Origin Trauma

  • Learn exactly how to approach grief, trauma and sensitivity with compassion and responsibility in a professional, effective way
  • The process for altering your clients' perceptions about their partner to see things from a new and exciting view - They will love YOU for this!
  • Techniques for remaining solution-based in the midst of deep psychological victimhood and trauma...

Part V:

The Generational Layer: Intense Therapy for Dedicated Clients

  • Discover how to work with family of origin issues from a historic or present-day perspective, plus the techniques necessary to retrain the trauma
  • Learn the 2 Components of Inner Child Work to ‘open’ couples to a point of receptivity that allows for healing stubborn and traumatic wounds
  • Create multi-generational channels of healing that supersede the conscious mind and work at the level of the subconscious

“When we unlock the taboos around sex and power, we also unlock what keeps relationships stuck in a holding pattern.”

Esther Perel

Module 2:
Challenges & Choices: The Art of Direction and Perception

Part I:

Attachment v. Romantic Love - Desire v. Intimacy - Sex v. Connection

  • Discover the vital relational difference between parent-child and romantic relationships in the therapeutic setting
  • Create specific protocols for clients to bridge the gap between attachment and healthy romantic love, including sex and intimacy therapies
  • Reframe the relationship as a continuous cycle of connection, disconnection, and then repair, giving credibility to the process

Part II:

Self-Destructive and Relationship-Destructive Behaviors: How to Unravel Relational Ruin

  • Learn how to identify and treat love-avoidants and heal the dichotomy in their soul
  • Discover the mystery of the ‘hero child’; how it expresses in adult relationships and what therapies to use to diffuse the story
  • Get an exact method for dealing with the 2 Forms of Grandiosity: Gratification and Relational Joy and how to transmute these mindsets into True Intimacy

Part III:

Relationships as Healing Mechanisms for Deep & Untreated Wounds

  • Find out how the ‘dream of healing’ hinders progress and leads to divorce 🙁
  • Discover how individual responsibility is the key to empowered couples therapy
  • Learn how romantic relationships are the most powerful tool for healing childhood trauma for individuals and couples

Part IV:

Practical Techniques for Correcting Underlying Belief Systems and Helping with Couples’ Decision-Making

  • Learn how to interpret the age-old question: “Should I stay or go?”
  • Discover how Relational Reckoning, Redirection, Reframing, and Resilience-based approaches interplay with couples decision-making
  • Get couples to ‘step out of the old groove’ by redirecting their relational choreography!

Part V:

Determine Your Limits and Goals as a Therapist, Plus Manage Separations Gracefully

  • Know the preconditions for intimacy therapy and beware of the definite deal breakers… Keep your practice sacred and safe
  • Discover several models for sustained relationships as tools for helping clients to map their future as a successful couple
  • Learn how to facilitate break-ups with the 2 rituals of disengagement, plus specific separation ceremonies for the post-feminist era

"Helps reawaken couples who seem trapped in a long-term stalemate and allows them to move toward growth and fuller Selfhood.”

- Richard Schwartz, originator of Internal Family Systems

Module 3:
Nuts & Bolts: The ‘How To’ of Effective Couples Therapy

Part I:

Relational v. Contractual Diagnosis: Clarity is the Key

  • Discover how the ‘recursive feedback loop’ sabotages relationships subconsciously and how to break the cycle for good
  • Learn ways to alleviate biases in clients who have tried couples therapy and failed in the past…
  • Get solid interventions and techniques for treating addiction, affairs and other conditions as they relate to couples therapy

Part II:

The Fairy Tale Story & The Power of Re-Framing  

  • Learn 3 proven strategies to help your clients construct more empowering stories for themselves and their relationships
  • Create ‘Appropriate Discrepancy’ to promote change in a relationship model that your clients will embrace and appreciate
  • Discover the art of reframing’ and how to manage the conversation with the couple as individuals or together in the room

Part III:

Family of Origin and Intergenerational Transmission

  • Unravel the ‘Secret History’ within familial templates to help clients transcend deep rooted negative attitudes
  • Find out how the ‘Mysticism of Marriage’ is a powerful way to recreate behaviors and actions in couples and individuals
  • Discover how the ‘Relational Grid’ can heal generations of unhealthy intimacy patterns

Part IV:

The Role of the Therapist: Become a Guardian for Your Clients’ Recovery

  • Learn the ONE KEY to ‘preserve yourself’ as a practitioner
  • Discover how to use correct phrasing to illuminate certain aspects of your clients’ relationships that need attention
  • Learn the art of proper timing to effectively drive home your point without losing professionalism or creating resentment

Part V:

Sex & Couples: The Secret to Profound Therapy

  • Discover why the ‘Erotic Connection’ of couples can make the difference between success and failure in a marriage
  • Learn the 5 Principles of Effective Sex Therapy and why you might be the last hope for your clients
  • Get specific techniques for helping clients who have fetishes, voyeurism, BDSM, or other sexual preferences

"Falling in love is easy, staying in love is another matter. Couples yearning for more closeness are truly in uncharted territory . . . until now, that is. Terry offers amazing new insights about men and women and what it takes to make relationships work in our ever-changing culture."

- Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW, author of Divorce Bustin

Module 4:
Rethinking Relationship Therapy: A New Perception for a New Frontier

Part I:

The Therapeutic Paradigm Less Traveled (but more effective)

  • Discern the layers of faulty boundaries that underlie the volatile fighting couple and help clients individuate and differentiate from the other partner
  • Learn the rhythm of effective therapy to build vulnerability and empathy between clients and their partners
  • Actively intervene, be in the middle and give people the language, the structure and the skills they are missing

Part II:

A New Frame of Reference for Modern Therapy & How Intimacy is the Key

  • Find out how relationship therapy is rapidly changing and why some therapists are standing out in the crowd
  • Discover powerful techniques that no school currently teaches and very few therapists use in practice
  • Learn how to induce compassion in your clients and how this can help couples succeed in marriage where other methods have failed

Part III:

Avoid ‘Therapeutic Relapse and Keep Your Clients Improving

  • Learn the 3 ‘Pattern Breakers’ that can easily revamp relationships and prevent couples from giving up
  • Bring truth to the lies and secrets inherent in clients who have affairs, and learn to do this with tact and poise
  • Discover how to intervene with a person who is a “Victim of a Marriage”

Part IV:

Sexuality vs. Lust & Proper Interventions for Sexual Healing

  • Learn the distinct difference between Women’s and Men’s sexuality and how this can help you treat them correctly, and with confidence
  • Discover the top interventions used for pornography or sexual addictions
  • Learn the best ways to explore sexuality with your clients in an appropriate and safe way

Part V:

Power, Dominance & Aggression: A Sensitive Subject

  • Give partners the resources necessary to move away from co-dependence and into empowerment
  • Learn the secret of working with partners who are both ‘latent’ and ‘blatant’ in their approach to relationships, plus how to undo the ingrained pattern
  • Create a safe and nurturing place for aggressive clients to redirect their energy into positive outcomes for them and for yourself

“Conventional therapy has failed most couples...If a wife truly demands that her emotional needs be met, she may indeed put her marriage on the line!”

- Terry Real

Module 5:
Love, Sex & Power

Part I:

Stop the Power Struggles Without Extinguishing the Fire

  • Observe the 3 Rings of ‘Psychological Patriarchy’: The Great Divide, The Dance of Contempt, and The Core of Collusion to balance unequal power dynamics in any relationship
  • Stop the ‘velvet war’: an unnoticed power struggle that ultimately destroys relationships and ruins sexual intimacy
  • Learn the secret to form healthy power dynamics in a relationship: emotionally, mentally and sexually

Part II:

Why Intimacy Is For The Brave (and how to get couples to take the risk)

  • Learn why honesty is a relative term and how to deal with manipulative patients
  • Discover how to become a ‘Relational Champion’ and actively promote healthy relationships and sex lives for your clients
  • Unravel the ‘Myths of Security’ with your clients to transform insecurity into bravery and dullness into adventure

Part III:

The Link Between Sex and Intimacy...

  • Discover how to shift your conversation around sex to include ‘Erotic Intimacy’ and take your therapy to new heights
  • Learn why mundane and robotic sex is inevitable for couples who lack intimacy, plus get the top interventions designed to revive intimacy in couples
  • Get the 3 Critical Questions you can ask to shift perceptions around sex--ultimately sex becomes a space for couples to enter, rather than something they do

Part IV:

How to Move Your Clients to Unconditional Love

  • Discover the irony of increased intimacy from unwavering ‘Impersonal’ Love and how to eliminate domination or aggressiveness to promote true power in a relationship
  • Learn safe practices for helping your clients sit in a space of sexual vulnerability while helping them to move closer in their relationship
  • Find out the top 3 emotional awareness practices that make for intimate sexual experiences and prevent sexual avoidance

“What is the nature of power? It's like asking, what is art?
I look at power as an intrinsic part of love relationships.”

Esther Perel

The RELATE Therapy
Training and LIVE Event
Offer Summary

Here’s Everything You’ll Receive:

  1. RELATE 5 Month Online Training that contains over 25 Hours of
    Downloadable Audio Lessons in 5 Modules [Value $2497]
  2. Full Transcripts of every Lesson in PDF format [Value $397]
  3. Study Guide of each Module to enhance your learning that includes: Course Objectives, Five Session Summary, Key Teaching Points for Each Session, Personal Reflection Questions [Value $250]
  4. Live Monthly Calls with Esther Perel and Terry Real [Value $497]
  5. Individual RELATE Membership Portal for Access and Downloading

  6. Private RELATE Therapy Facebook Community

Plus...These Special Bonuses:

BONUS #1: Special Live RELATE Event plus LIVESTREAM
that you can watch anywhere in the world  [Value $997]

BONUS #2: RELATE Live Event Video Recordings -
Additional 8+ Hours You Will Own Forever [Value $497]

BONUS #3: 30 CE Credits [Value $97]

Choose Your Payment Option
for this Special Limited Offer:

One-time Payment of


get access now

or choose the payment plan

3 Easy Monthly Payments of


get access now

Always inspired by you two to continue to do the rich and meaningful work of couples and sex therapy. Thank you!

Leslie G

"If you’re tired of the same old dance, get ready to learn a few new steps—real steps—the ones that will make a difference in your life and the lives of those you love."

Cheryl Richardson, author of Life Makeovers

The RELATE Therapy
Training and LIVE Event
Offer Summary

Choose Your Payment Option
for this Special Limited Offer:

One-time Payment of


get access now

or choose the payment plan

3 Easy Monthly Payments of


get access now